Regrets.

Many a time one feels the embarrassment when seeking justification for derogatory statements shot against others. The problem is that once a statement is fired out of one’s mouth, it can never be retracted, no matter how forgiving the offended side will be, and no matter how much remorseful or penitent the offender will be.

Some believe that the sense of speech has two very secure gates, or hurdles, if you like, to keep its maiifestation of belligerence in complete check. They watch the speakers utterances at all times. The tongue is garrisoned at the back of a set of strong teeth and two mighty lips.

Derogatory statements are impeachable and condemning, especially when directed at next of kin, wives, husbands, sons, daughters and in-laws. They are, of course, harming to all others in various degrees.

Somehow, it seems that the direct spoken word is far more offensive and destructive than the same thought expressed in text.

The function of communication takes a front seat in this regard. Body language was probably the origin of primitive communication, and the spoken word and cave designs were discovered later. Just imagine, Bullbull, the cavernous, stressing to Cowcow the message:
“To-night we shall celebrate our amorous togetherness !”
to which the female would find some difficulty in replying:
“Some other time, dear, as I am indisposed these few days !”

Maybe such statements would not be that difficult to pass on because obviously body-language would come in very handy to express both the first and the second statements. Others may be more difficult and complicated to convey both to the speaker as well as to the listener.

Some regrettful statements remain always fresh in one’s mind. Take, for example, how much Samson regretted in letting Delilah into his secret. Or, regrets for blunter statements made by VIP’S. The list of people regretting doing this or that, or taking the wrong decisions or making hurting statements is too long to be exhaustive.

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Me, myself and the others.

In other words: what do I think about my projection to others, what is the real opinion I cultivate deep down in my subconscious and what do others think about me. These three areas put together confirm my existence.

Individuals project themselves to others in the belief that they are public spirited, conscientious, integral, beyond corruption, law-abiding, helpful, charitable, and many more virtuous attributes. One can describe a person with a string of such virtues either, a very exemplary individual, or very irrelevant, both to oneself as well as to those around him, especially those in contact.

Males and females erroneously believe that they have different yardsticks. But in actual fact they are both endowed with the same conceptual chemistry. As far as they share the same situations, upbringing and home environment, that is, all things being equal, gender does not come in the equation.

Tom, Dick and Harry, as well as their lady counterparts, think very highly of themselves. They suffer from an inflated ego. As long as this is based on fact and not on fiction, all very well, though very hard to prove in terms of relationships with persons within the contact zones. But if this is only a self-recommended eulogy, then we have to agree that self praise is no recommendation.

But, what do we really believe about ourselves ? There cannot be any illusions because it is very difficult for a person to cheat himself. It is true that sometimes people repeat ad nauseam the same glorifying feats to others, with the result that oft repeated falsehoods sometimes put on the cloak of truth. But in the depth of the subconscious there is not room for self conceit.

Sometimes the acid test to characterize persons is “the others.” What others think about Tom, Dick and Harry is the crux of the matter. As always what one thinks and says about onself, must be confirmed by others.

Most of all, leaving aside the theoretical sideline, people are judged by their actions. Actions are supreme. Characterization must be constructed on actions. People do what they believe in, not what they talk about, or what they stress to others, unless of course they are good actors offstage. In that case they become simply good players performing for an audience.

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